Patient (Who is obviously way high on meth.): "What is it? What's wrong with me?"
Me: "I'm not sure. We'll probably have to wait for the autopsy results."
Patient: "How long will that take? I have to work tomorrow."
From my very first ambulance job, in Independence, Missouri. At the time, it was the methamphetamine capitol of the world. Since that day, I have viewed tweakers and other obnoxiously intoxicated people as playthings put on this earth purely for my amusement.
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